In middle school I made out with my boyfriend in front of everyone.

   Okay, is it just me or are middle school kids THE WORST?  You don't have to answer that. It's a well known fact that they are awful. I'm not excluding myself from this list. In middle school I was the worst of the worst. Snotty, annoying, loud, and on top of all that, I made out with my boyfriend in front of everyone.
    I think we all knew someone who was guilty of  this public display of awfulness. But I think I could have won an award for middle school PDA. It didn't matter if it was a huge group of friends, or just one friend. I would swap spit with my middle school boyfriend in front of them.
    I have given this a lot of thought, and I can't come up with a clear reason as to why. Let's call my then boy friend, Travis*. Travis wasn't an especially good kisser. And he definitely wasn't the hottest boy I'd ever seen. (Sorry Travis, but we both weren't hot. It was middle school, chill out.) But I did come up with some theories as to why I did this.

Theory #1
 I thought it made me look cool. My thought process must have been something like this. "Adults are cool and women make out with their boyfriends at social gatherings all of the time. I want to be an adult woman, so I should do the same thing." In reality, no, it did not make me look like cool. Shocking, right? Also, where on earth did I get the idea that adult women did this all the time. I am now 23 years old, and I have only been around maybe 2 adult women who have been guilty of this, and one of them was drunk. Maybe I watched too much Sex and the City. Who knows? At any rate, I didn't succeed at appearing any cooler than I actually was. It just added to the annoyance that was my middle school existence.

Theory #2
I was excited to actually have a boyfriend. You know how every girl dreams of the day she can have a boy prove her self worth? No? Oh. That might have been just me.. And possibly a few other girls with self esteem just that low. It didn't help that at some point, some jackass boy had told me that I wasn't popular, and only popular girls could get boyfriends. Which of course translated to me as, popular girls are pretty and worthy of a boyfriend and you are not pretty and therefor not worthy. I'm pretty sure that's what he meant..Middle school boys are fucking dicks. So I probably thought the best way to have proof that I, Annie Horn, have a boyfriend and therefor have value, is to make out with him every second of the day, so that passersby could witness.

Theory #3
I enjoyed making everyone around me uncomfortable. Obviously, if you are around two people who are having a make out session, and you are just sitting there with nothing else to do but watch or play with your thumbs...  You are going to feel uncomfortable. I know this because at age 19 I had a friend who made out with her boyfriend in front of me all the time, and I felt nothing but uncomfortable... And slightly sorry for her(refer to theories 1 and 2.) But perhaps she and I enjoyed making people miserable? No, I am not a sociopath, and she showed no signs of being a sociopath either, so I highly doubt that making people miserable was the reason.

   So, middle school friends, and acquaintances, I am so sorry you had to endure my public displays of awfulness. I accept full responsibility for my behavior. Well not full, Travis took part in this too. He's just as guilty as I am. Unfortunately, I cannot speak for him, only myself. I understand why most of you talked shit about me, and I hope this sheds some light on to why I put you through all that.  But you should also know, you were in middle school too, and obviously just as awful, so  you're not completely off the hook. Especially the kids that called me fat. You suck.

*Travis now has a beautiful girlfriend and enjoys demeaning women on social media, and telling people to "kill themselves." And I let him slip threw my fingers.